Time Is A Double Edged Sword

“Time heals all wounds.” ~ Ancient Proverb

Tick, tick, tick, tick
Each passing tick makes me sick
As I feel the time here go on by.

Tock, tock, tock, tock
The answer to them on the clock
As I feel the time fly as I lie.

Thump, thump, thump
I can feel my heart beat through this slump
As I see our time leave me far behind.

Hope, hope, hope
I pray for this silly dope
As I question our time, “Why?”

Time, time, time, time
That accursed killer for this crime
That brought our time here to die.

 

I tend to not publish the poetry I write, but I just felt like I had to do something for once about this. Most of you know that Tabea and I broke up last week. As much as I try, time has yet to heal the wound it caused. So, I thought now would be a good time to explain all that I know about our breakup.

1. Why did you break up?
A. Tabea wanted to have the breakup. The reason why is because she said she didn’t love me the same anymore. Tabea said that she viewed me more as a brother instead of a lover.

2. How is she?
A. As far as I can tell, she is really broken up by this whole thing and upset about the situation. She wasn’t sure that she was making the right choice when doing this, but she decided to proceed forwards for what she hope would be a better choice.

3. How are you?
A. I’ve been better. It hurts, yeah, but I’ve seen this coming for awhile. I didn’t want to break up, but I’ve been preparing myself for the possibility. The irony, for me at least, is that the week before the break up I had lowered my guard an just relaxed about our relationship.

4. Will you ever get back together?
A. Short answer, no. Long answer, there might be a slim possibility, but I really doubt it. You see, when Tabea broke up with me I said that this must be a permanent decision, no back and forth work. I still love her, God do I still love her, but I don’t want to keep hurting myself if she won’t love me.

5. Are you still friends?
A. Well, as friendly as two people who just broke up can be a few days after their break. Communication between us, as you might imagine, is very strained. Neither one of us is able to talk to the to the other without feeling strong emotions, so it is still very hard. However, I will still pass on any messages you all might have for Tabea, since she never checks here, for you if you want.

6. What will you both do now?
A. Honestly, I don’t know. I wish Tabea the best, and I hope she finds someone who is better than me in ever conceivable way. I hope she finds a guy who is cooler, better looking, smarter, more liberal, funnier, nicer, and most importantly, lover her more than I ever could be. As for me, this doesn’t prove to me that love is useless. I know that love must be incredible for me to feel this heartbroken over a woman I haven’t seen in eight months. So, for now, I’ll just lick my wounds and wait till they heal.

Thanks for reading this rant.

So I Was Writing This Public Journal And All Of The Sudden…

Hello Everyone, sorry about going off the radar with this thing. I honestly didn’t mean to just stop working on this journal thing but I got caught up with all my schoolwork that I just didn’t have any time for it. So, once again, my bad.

So, let me give you a quick recap of what has happened since I last posted.

• Me and Tabea are still together, but we just went through a rather rough patch. I would say we are better right now, but I’ll explain what happened later.
• Pat’s father is fine now, he came out of all the surgery just fine.
• I do still play D&D and have in fact done a speech on it in front of my Public Speaking class.
• My classes are still kicking my arse.
• I am planning on going to summer camp this year, and they are going to train me fairly well. I am super “duper” excited for it.

And that, my friends, should wrap up any of the loose threads I left in any of my previous posts.

Now onto the new stuff…